He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
