I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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