is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need water and some morals
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
