conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
