very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize