Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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