I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You made out with two different species that night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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