Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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