How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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