Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
