Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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