Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So much rum. So many feels.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
