She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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