No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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