he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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