Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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