have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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