How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
