So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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