is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
