I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
