I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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