the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
