Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
