with your own penis?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
