he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
