i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
