So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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