I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
