Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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