Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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