i think my tv is drunk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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