There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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