my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
