So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
