so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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