when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize