i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
