WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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