Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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