I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
