he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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