Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
