In the future we'll all be gay
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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