Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
