the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
