He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
