I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
