So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
