i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize