I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
