im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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