I didn't shave. On purpose
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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