Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
