I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
