HIV tests are more positive than that guy
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
