FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
