you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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