I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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