I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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