I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
